I’m that person who seems to always get what they want and a lot of people have been asking me lately how I do it. Well, here’s the secret: I ask for it. Seriously, that’s what I do. And spoiler alert, it works!
I mean think about it, when people ask you to do something how hard is it to say no? Remember that time where maybe your boss asked you to work when you had a day off or when a friend asked you to go out and you said yes even though you didn’t want to go? There are literally books written about how to say no! Why? Because saying no isn’t easy, humans want to be liked by others and and for some reason we think it is easier for others to say no than it is for ourselves. But it’s not.
According to Psychology today, “There is no technique in the psychological literature with more power to persuade than simply asking.”
In a “study by Langer et al. (1978), a person wants to break in line at the copy machine and asks if he can. In one condition, he just asks ‘Excuse me, I have 5 pages, can I use the copy machine?’. Approximately 60% of people asked were happy to comply with the request. Compliance was facilitated a bit with a little ‘placebic information’, like, ‘Can I use the copy machine because I need to make copies.’ Or, ‘Can I use the copy machine because I’m in a hurry.’ In these cases compliance was above 90%. The message again is, if you want something, your first port of call should be to ask for it. [Psychology Today]
Still need more proof? As I said earlier, I am pretty good at getting what I want by asking. But there are still things I’m afraid to do. For instance, I am a freelance reporter, which means I am still on the press list for a lot of cool events, like the Grammys! Of course, I never answer these emails because I knew how even at a national magazine we’d get denied access. So how would my blog or YouTube channel ever get approved? I decided I just wasn’t going to ask until maybe it was bigger.
But then I thought why wait to achieve a goal? Why not try? Why not just ask? I responded to one of these emails and explained what I was up to now. I sent over my blog and YouTube Channel and asked, what events can I go to? Is there any way we can work together?
And OMG, I got a response! They said yes! Maybe it wasn’t to the Grammys… yet (can’t wait till that happens though) but it was to go to the party in honor of the remodel of the Westfield Century City Mall in Los Angeles. I did not hesitate to say YES!
This mall is only five minutes from my home and they spent $1 billion modernization and beautification of the mall so I was eager to see the final product. Plus the grand opening event was in partnership with the Infinite Hero Foundation. The foundation helps combat the most difficult frontline issues, both mental and physical, that face returning military heroes and their families and funds programs that drive innovation and the accessibility of effective treatments dealing with service-related mental and physical injuries.
I wasn’t sure what to expect for a mall event, but I wanted any chance to build my dream of being able to experience more out of life and share it with you! And wow the mall and event did not disappoint. A full red-carpet, food stations, catering, and there were performances: Joe Jonas & The Village people! I was blown away that I was able to have this wonderful experience. And all I had to do was ask.
Check out the video below to see for yourself:
So yes, asking for what you want actually works very well. I am living proof. If you don’t try for what you want there’s a 100 percent chance you are not going to get it. But if you ask, there’s a chance.
Take that chance.